Maybe Hulk can shut yo' mouth!

Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a spider can..

Apparently, spiders can not make children SHUT UP.  I may come off as an evil child-hater here.  I don't hate kids.  I don't like annoying kids, but I'm more pissed at parents who bring their kids to non-kid-friendly events.  Don't bring your little one to a big-people's movie!  They talk, they can't sit down for 5 mins, they ran up and down the stairs, they hopped on all fours,  they screamed, they cried... but, magically, whenever an usher came in, they were all like church mice.  It was unbelievable.  

I wanted to tell all those parents that if they could afford a movie, they could afford a babysitter.  The whole theater was not there to watch or hear your little kids.

Not that the movie was spectacular.  My hubby, the comic guru, didn't like it.  I thought it was ok, what I could get out of it. Still, I paid my money, and I should get to see my crappy movie.

At least the manager agreed and gave us passes to come see another movie.  I wish they had a kids-free night.  I want to go see Brave.  Maybe there's a midnight showing?...

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Today, I wish it had a content key!  I haven't written for a while, though my nail blog gets updated every day, sometimes twice a day, so I know I have something to say!

Today's deep thought is about doggie adoption.  We have a new dog in the house, a dog that my petsitter has been fostering for about a year and a half, and thought would make a nice addition to our home.  So far, it's been a little rocky - my other male dog growls at him a lot (though he also growls at my adult female that he's known all his life), the new dog is marking my house (he marked my bed, which I get, but he also marked my curtains?!) and although he was touted as a submissive, easy-going dog, he's actually coming out of his shell as a fairly confident dog.  I'm well-versed in setting boundaries for my pups and leadership theory, and I've never had a problem with that, so I know that I could keep the peace and MAKE it work.  I'm just not sure if I should.  Would it be kinder to my existing dogs and the new dog for him to find a new home?  Should I wait longer and see if time and training makes this group click together?  I don't know if these dogs will ever like each other, it would be more of a tolerance for each other, I think.  Do we all deserve better?

I do like this new dog, but I'm not in love with him - yet.  We'll see.  I'm not going to make any decisions tonight.  It's odd, because all the dogs I've adopted in the past I either fell in love with right away, or took them because I knew they would be better off with me than in their current situation.  I don't know how I feel about this one, yet.

The tiny silver lining with the big frackin' cloud

I love girls' lunch/night out.  I haven't had girl friends for a long time - like most married couples, we have couple friends.  Or, sometimes we had a group, like when we played wallyball.  Girl groups are a little different, and I really enjoy them.

I don't know what happened.  It's not their fault.  I had an off day.  I didn't feel right all morning.

I ordered too much food.  I thought the crepes were going to be small, so I ordered the plate that came with two.  I was the only one who did so.  Awkward, even though I didn't eat it.   I had to endure yet another well-meaning, but ultimately shaming weight-loss conversation.  Sigh.

My stomach started really hurting about halfway through lunch.  Two trips to the bathroom later, and I was still in pain.  I had to leave early.

I get to the car, and some ass-hat has parked over the line, leaving me about 6 inches of space to open the driver's door.  I am more than 6 inches wide.  The other side is free, but I can't climb in.  I am paralyzed for a moment.  I look around, but no one is claiming this car.  I think about slamming my door into their car, hoping that the resulting dent will give me enough space to squeeze in.   I think about keying their car.

I would wait, but my stomach is still hurting, and I just want to go home.

I swallow my pride, and I go ask for help.  Luckily, the girls are still there, and one of them helps me while I yell expletives in the parking lot, helpless, frustrated, FAT. 

Is this why women over 40 are more prone to agoraphobia?  Once I'm home, I never want to leave the house again.  Unlike the Hollywood heroine, this does not spur me to workout endlessly and eat carrot sticks.  It makes me want to crawl in bed and put my head under the covers.

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, but today SUCKED.

Clean Dog Day

Clean Dog Day is almost as good as Clean Sheet Day.  All the doggies got a bath, and I even cleaned their (gasp) anal glands.  It is important to do that FIRST, so that the bath washes away all the nasty.  It is the grossest job of a dog owner, and some people have this done at the vet, but I'm too cheap to take them there as often as they would need it.  A latex glove (per dog) and some K-Y and a paper towel or wipe, and 30 seconds, and you're done.

Yeah, that's probably TMI for most of you, but since I don't think I have a lot of readers, that's not really an issue.  If you're reading this, there is no need to be scared of your dog's butt.  And, the benefits of not having that smell or your dog licking their ass constantly far outweighs the 30 seconds of pure gross.

So, all the dogs are clean, they smell good, their fur feels incredible, and then they're so wound up they PLAY like crazy, and then they SLEEP like the dead. 

I won't want to let them out to play tomorrow because they'll get all dirty again, but I know I'll relent. :)  These are the moments to relish, they are gone way too soon!  I wish I could capture that clean dog feeling in a picture to revisit when they're stinky.

Love means.... buying me stuff!

Haha, just kidding.  Doesn't hurt, though. LOL.

Today was an epic gift day.  Hubby stopped by Sam's club on the way home from work, supposedly to gas up the car and buy some trash bags.  Apparently, he decided that he liked an amethyst necklace and just decided to buy it for me.  I wasn't even there to ask him for it.  It's not even my birthday.

When I asked him why, he said that he liked it, and he couldn't wait for the next gift-giving occasion in Sept (our anniversary) to get it for me.  When I suggested that he buy it and keep it hidden until then, he actually MADE A FACE.  He cracks me up.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, he took me nail polish shopping.  And, he's coming to the beauty bloggers meeting with me on Saturday.  I love that he embraces his sensitive side, and is so comfortable with who he is.  It's a rare gift.

Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows was about the silliest movie I've seen in a long time.  Johnny Depp was sexy, even in white paint, and Michelle Pfiefer is still one of the most beautiful actresses, but that was about it for eye-candy.  Actually, the Dark Shadows collection of nail polish I bought will probably bring me more joy than the movie! 

Well, Twilight was worse, I guess.  maybe.

I like new stuff

Very profound, no?

I got a new chair.  It's actually made for us bigger folks.  First time I've had a really comfy chair like this.  On the one hand, I feel a little guilty that my ass is so wide as to need a bigger chair.  On the other hand, simply wanting it to fit, or even working on it isn't going to happen overnight, so why shouldn't I be comfortable in the meantime?

I got a new hobby.  I spend way too much time and money on nail polish and art these days.  I think it's interesting, and I've found a community online that also values it.  I have 10 canvasses that I can use and reuse and reuse.  I take a pix and that's all I need to remember my impermanent creation.  Most of my polishes are 3- or 4- or 5- free (main nasty chemicals) and cruelty-free, and some are even vegan.  So, I feel okay about having these on my body and around my house.  Yeah, I feel a little guilty that I have all this free time and I'm not curing cancer, I'm just painting my nails..

I made some new friends tonight.  Girls' Night was awesome.  Hung out with some friends, and they brought friends that I didn't know well.  Drunk Nidia makes friends pretty easily, assuming she doesn't scare them off first.  It's always nice to find more people in the world that are fun to spend time with.  Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, the other is gold.

Avengers, assemble!

Yesterday was a banner (as in Bruce Banner.. yuk yuk) day.  Hubby and I had lunch with friends and then saw the Avengers movie.

Best quote at lunch goes to Scott:  "Steampunk is what happened when Goths discovered the color brown."

So much win at the movie.  Hulk was a breakout character - we never saw his movies because we heard that they were just awful, but I have fond memories of the TV show.  Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man is freakin' awesome, snarky, sexy - even sexier than Thor, if you can believe it.  He racks up the total best one-liners in the movie, by far.  'Dost thou mother know thou ist wearing her drapes?" "Glow stick of Destiny" etc etc.  I'm definitely a fangirl!

Boo-ya!

May the Fourth be with you...... and tomorrow, beware the revenge of the Fifth.

Clean Sheet Day

Some time ago, I was introduced to the concept of 'Clean Sheet Day' and the magic within.  I think the concept came from a 'For Better or For Worse' comic, but I can't be sure. 

If you've never been blessed to have your life, house, and bed full of pets, then you don't know the sublime moment of climbing into a bed that is, for one brief moment, free of hair.  The crisp, cool sheet, the faint smell of laundry detergent that you can bury your nose in without inhaling dog..

ahhhh.

And then, luckily, the cycle begins anew.  

I will not eat green eggs and ... purple potatoes?!

I had heard of purple potatoes, but I thought, surely, they can't be very, very purple.  Holy crap, they ARE.  They don't taste any different from regular potatoes, but they look like they should.  My brain did NOT want me to eat that potato, but I knew it was okay.  My brain was confused, because my mouth said it was just a potato.

I wonder if that kind of cognitive dissonance is experienced by kids that eat green ketchup or other weirdly colored foods.

Nail polish and shopping

I have to admit, I love shopping.  I don't spend hours in clothing or shoe stores, but I can spend a couple of hours at Target.  In fact, my friends and family are always poking fun at my husband's and my, "Target dates" that we usually have weekly.  We have a routine where we usually get a drink at either Starbucks or the Target Cafe, and we have a pattern we follow in the store.  We know where most of the clearance endcaps are, and where our fave stuff is in the store.  It's great, because we both enjoy it, we get some great deals, and we talk about whatever we want.  And sometimes, we dance in the aisles.

This last week, we went on a pilgrimage to find cheap nail polish for my new obsession.  I even have a nail blog now: beautylitfromwithin.blogspot.com.  I just found out that resell stores like Marshalls and TJ Maxx carry some polish at lower prices, so off we went.

I love dishes, and this pattern caught my eye. Loved it.  Had to have it. It was on clearance! Bought the only mug they had, and 4 cereal bowls that matched.

And then, in true crazy Nidia fashion, I painted my nails to match.  I'm no artist, but I know what I like.. and I like!

Happy Earth Day!

I was excited to read that Target (my fave store, evah!) was having an Earth Day promo, and giving away free grocery tote bags.  So, we tried to get up early...ok, we got to the store just a little bit after noon, but we did try.  We found out that the people giving away the bags had left about 20 minutes before we got there.

Our cashier suggested that we drive to other Targets to see if they had any of the bags left.

Drive.

For an Earth Day bag.

Oh, isn't it ironic, doncha think?

I'm no Janet Leigh, but...

I have (at least one) totally irrational fear.  I'm afraid to take a shower when I'm alone in the house.  I don't even think it's because I'll be brutally murdered, or someone will sneak up on me, or anything like that - though I do know that it's traditionally how the first co-ed bites it in any horror movie.   I just figure I'm not pretty and/or slutty enough for that kind of ending. 

No, it's mundane.  I'm afraid that I'll slip and fall in the shower.  But my shower stall isn't a tub - it's a stand-up with 3 tile walls and a curtain.  So, if I fall, I won't be able to reach the handle to turn off the water.  Which means I'll have to lie in (eventually) freezing cold water for hours until my husband comes home.  If he's out of town, it could be days.  I'll die of hypothermia in my own shower.  That will not look good in my obituary.

I'm also afraid that if it isn't my husband who finds me, it's going to take the fire department, or 3 or 4 paramedics to lift my overly-Rubenesque, and by now, wet, shriveled and pruny body out of the shower if I'm unable to get out by myself.  They will, of course, make jokes at my expense, and post it on some internet site.  You've probably already been to that site, haven't you?  Maybe they'll put it on People of Walmart.

Maybe I should install a phone on the floor of the bathroom?

I think this may qualify as a #1stworldproblem.  Which Rage Face is most appropriate for this post?

Permission granted

The first time I started a blog... a while ago, in a different time and space... it was because I wanted a place to vent.  As Robin Williams once said in a movie, it was about releasing a YAWP into the world. 

Maybe I'm in a better place right now.  I know I've experienced symptoms of depression now and again - sadness for no reason, no desire to do much of anything, eating my emotions.  I doubt I'll ever be completely free from that, but right now I feel pretty good.  This does not bode well for a blogger, though.  Many of my fave blog writers have disclosed that they have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and/or anxiety disorders.  I'm pretty sure that you can't be a successful blogger without being more than a tad bit damaged.  Perhaps it's the curse of the comedian who hides the tears of a clown, or the tortured artist who can't write good music without a broken heart (Adele, anyone?)

I think I'll give myself permission to just feel good for no reason today. 

What's in a name?

This week, I bought two products pretty much just for the name.  There are, I suppose, dumber reasons to buy something, but I can't think of what that might be at the moment!  As luck would have it, though, I like both things I bought. 

The first was a nail polish by Zoya, called Skylar.  I wrote about it on my beauty blog: lit from within.  The polish reminded me of my sweet departed mastiff, Skylar Mora.  Even the color reminds me of her, a dusty blue/grey.  She's been gone for a while now, but I still miss her, and this was a nice chance to think of her fondly - every time I look at my manicure. :)

The second thing I bought was a shampoo and conditioner from Jonathan product.  Did you see that show on Bravo - Blow Out?  It was Jonathan Antin's show about his salon, and creating his product.  In a true marketing coup, that show got me to buy this stuff, what, 5, 6 years later?  I've always wanted to try it, but it was too expensive.  Saw it at TJ Maxx and scooped it up.  It smells like coconut, if you're into that sort of thing.  I'm not vegan or even vegetarian, but I'm mildly intrigued by products that are.

I am uber-consumer with a few bucks in my pocket.

Congratulations!

There are few things that are more fun than to watch Banjo with a new toy.  We got all the dogs a new rubber toy yesterday, and a small plush toy today.  He thinks all new things are belong to him, so we have to make sure all the dogs get a turn.  But, then, he settles on one, and he talks to it.  He'll growl and push it around, and toss it in the air, and shake his head around, like he's telling that toy what's for.  And then he prances around, so full of himself, so proud of a job well-done.

We should all congratulate ourselves so heartily after completing a task.

epic battles

A friend of mine posed the question on Facebook of who would win:  the Hulk or Superman?  This is exactly the type of question my comic-book collecting hubby would know, and so I asked him.  He's always so careful with me - wanting to give me the best answer he can, but not scare me off with too much geeky comic-book-guy knowledge.  I have been to the comic shop, my dear readers, and it is a scary, scary place.

I do love that I can ask him questions, and he can, with extreme sincerity, describe the different iterations of the Hulk - some are smart, some dumb, some integrated with Bruce Banner, some stand-alone; and how each of these versions would have some handicap or strength in a battle against Superman.

Some of you are playing these scenarios over in your mind;  you can't help it, can you?

love

"When did you decide to love me forever?" I asked my beloved. 

"You were fun," he said, "and you?"

"I thought you had a nice ass,"  I replied.

"Ah," he said, "I thought so."

another kid/no kid difference

So here's what I found out is another difference between having and not having kids.  If you've had kids, and you need the procedure I had done, then you go see your regular lady-parts doctor on your lunch break, and you're done in 15 minutes.

If you haven't had kids, like me, you need to go to the hospital - twice.  Once for a bazillion signatures and two different blood draws (on two different floors of the hospital, no less) and another time for the actual procedure.  I had to be there at 5:30am for 2 hours of pre-op where I mostly answered the same 15-20 questions to every nurse and doctor who walked into my little room.  Mostly about whether or not I'd had blood drawn the day before because they couldn't find it.  Then, I got sedated, and I don't remember anything for awhile.  I had to have general anesthesia, so it affects you for about 24 hours.  I woke back up in my room, and hung around another 3 hours before I could go home.  My throat was sore from the breathing tube, my bum hip in agony from being moved beyond its norm.  

Then they sent me home.  Stay away from fried foods and too much protein, they told me.  No bending over, no lifting, no straining, no driving for at least a day.

Still easier than having a kid, I say.  And the percocet was a nice bonus.

Is it the alteration of the physical or the mental that changes my life?

I had life-altering surgery today.  

or did I?

We tried having kids a few years back, even did fertility treatments.  We said we'd do 3... we did 2, and held out for the 'right time' to do the third.  I think, even then, that we didn't *really*want to be parents.  So, instead of doing the last treatment, we just stayed off birth control, and let the chips fall where they may.  

I never saw myself as a mom, even when I was younger.  I think the only reason we tried to have kids was because we thought that's what we were supposed to do - the next milestone in being an 'adult'.  Maybe I would have been a good mom, maybe I might have even enjoyed it, but... knowing myself as I do, I sincerely doubt it.  

Today, I underwent a procedure that has the side effect of infertility.  Game over.  No more 'trying', no more 'letting the chips fall where they may'.. no nothing.  I didn't want kids, didn't seem to be able to have kids, but there is a psychological finality to it being physically impossible to conceive.  There really isn't a way to prepare for that - I feel a loss, a need to grieve, even though it was something I didn't really want, and never really had to begin with, and that's a cognitive dissonance I don't know how to reconcile quite yet.

Lazy Sunday

I've never really liked Sundays that much - always felt like the weekend was already over, for some reason.  Even now, when I'm not working a regular schedule, Sundays just seem like moments away from Monday.  The hubby is usually working on his school stuff for the next week, maybe we get a few household things out of the way.  Sometimes I actually cook (*gasp*) a meal.

Today, I revisited an old movie friend that I picked up on Blu-Ray:  Labyrinth.  I love Muppets, and Ludo is one of my all-time faves.  (Rowlf is probably my all-time, number-one fave Muppet, though.)  "Ludo smelllllllll"  My heart breaks a little every time they say goodbye in the mirror at the (almost) end of the movie.  Saying goodbye to one's childhood isn't easy - haven't done it yet, not sure I ever will, completely.

Current Obsession - shiny, pretty...nails!

I am kind of a girly-girl in a shorts and t-shirts package.  If I'm leaving the house, I want my hair to look nice - and if it's not, it's up in a clip.  I love wearing makeup in lots of different colors (usually not at the same time, but you never know.) and I love lipstick and nail polish.  Lately, due to (that damn, damn) Pinterest, I'm seeing all kinda of polish brands, colors, and effects I've never seen before!  So I've been shopping online, scouring my local stores, picking up stuff on sale, on clearance, and too often, just paying full price for the colors I've been *lemming*  That's a new polish term I learned.  I feel very hip and cool now.  

I've been posting pix on Facebook for years now - visits with friends, tons of pix of my dogs, adventures/trips we take, even funny things from the internet - but nothing has gotten more comments than my current nail polish obsession.  Yes, of course, I'm taking pix of my manicures and posting them on Facebook!  They even have their own album:  girly crap.  Most people are very excited to see the colors, my attempts at nail art (and trust me, they are bad attempts) and my descriptions of the polish.  I also get rumblings of the eye-rolling, too.  It's interesting to me to see how people respond to something as benign as nail polish.

It's a good thing I don't post much about politics or religion! whew!

Update:  4/12 - I started my own beauty blog:  beautylitfromwithin.blogspot.com.  Oh, shiny!

The age-old question...

Should dog-people and cat-people be friends? Can a fish and a bird fall in love?  Should non-kid-people be friends with kid-people?

You know you're fat when...

..you complain on FB that your OB missed your appt because of an emergency C-section, and someone on your friends list assumes that it was YOU having the C-section! 

Lena, the WTF dog

I wasn't supposed to even look at Lena... she's an Italian Greyhound mix, 30 pounds of which most of it is her freakin' huge eyes.  The foster mom called her, 'an unremarkable little brown dog.'  I was a Rottie mama - I had 3 big Rotties, had only ever owned Rotties, had only ever wanted Rotties.  But, here I was, walking past the adoption stall in the flea market, being sucked in by those brown eyes.  And the next day, she was ours.  And the day after that, I tried to find her another home because she was seriously freaked out by all the Rotties!  And the day after I tried to give her away, I broke out in hives and had to get my dog back.  And, she's been ours ever since.

Pax, the Mother's Curse dog

Guess I should introduce another dog.  They all have such distinct personalities, and Pax (full name:  Paksennarion) is no exception.  When I first got her, my mom called her my 'mother's curse' child:  she was just like I was as a kid - didn't want to listen to any rules, ignored her mom, was surly and hard to control.  She's out of that phase, but even so, she's just like me, now, too - she is a cuddlebug, and sleeps as often as she can.  She also follows me around all day, and lets me know with little grunts and noises (not barks, mind you) that she wants something.  She is also the Timekeeper of the dogs - she knows when it is dinnertime, and after dinner, she lets me know that it is Time For The Chewie, and won't leave me alone until they get their treat.  And while she doesn't lift her leg on command like Banjo, she lifts her leg to pee like a boy.  She's so Butch.

Doggy Mommy - Banjo

I wear several different hats, but the one I probably wear most often is housewife and doggy mom.  I am an extrovert, so talking with my dogs gives me something to do!

I currently have 3 dogs.  This is Banjo.  He's a 4-yr old Rottie/Boxer mix, and 90 lbs of PUPPY.  I am fond of saying that Banjo has one brain cell, and he keeps it in his butt.  It powers his squiggles and waggly tail.  All he wants to do is go outside and push his ball around!

Banjo has inadvertently learned the coolest trick - if I ask him for his paw, he'll give me a front paw.  If I ask him again, he'll turn around and give me his back paw.  Trust me, there are few things that are cuter.  Your kid is walking?  Doing calculus?  So what, my dog can look like he's peeing, even when he's not.

/Beyonce

The other day, Hubby and I were in Target looking for small plastic organizing bins.  He pointed out some that were more expensive than the others, presumably because they came with lids.  "That makes sense," I said, "because if you like it then you shoulda put a lid on it."  /Beyonce