I'm no Janet Leigh, but...

I have (at least one) totally irrational fear.  I'm afraid to take a shower when I'm alone in the house.  I don't even think it's because I'll be brutally murdered, or someone will sneak up on me, or anything like that - though I do know that it's traditionally how the first co-ed bites it in any horror movie.   I just figure I'm not pretty and/or slutty enough for that kind of ending. 

No, it's mundane.  I'm afraid that I'll slip and fall in the shower.  But my shower stall isn't a tub - it's a stand-up with 3 tile walls and a curtain.  So, if I fall, I won't be able to reach the handle to turn off the water.  Which means I'll have to lie in (eventually) freezing cold water for hours until my husband comes home.  If he's out of town, it could be days.  I'll die of hypothermia in my own shower.  That will not look good in my obituary.

I'm also afraid that if it isn't my husband who finds me, it's going to take the fire department, or 3 or 4 paramedics to lift my overly-Rubenesque, and by now, wet, shriveled and pruny body out of the shower if I'm unable to get out by myself.  They will, of course, make jokes at my expense, and post it on some internet site.  You've probably already been to that site, haven't you?  Maybe they'll put it on People of Walmart.

Maybe I should install a phone on the floor of the bathroom?

I think this may qualify as a #1stworldproblem.  Which Rage Face is most appropriate for this post?